The big P….as in planning. One would think by this time I, out of anyone would be able to sit back and somewhat relax, but nope unfortunately that trait has never settled in…I wish it would though.
This past year has been my best attempt at planning ahead, which has resulted in all my plans pretty much going to shit. I have to admit I find it utterly annoying how my mind is at times, I find myself sometimes thinking about 3-10 years in the future asking myself, “what am I doing, where will I be?” And I have this weird goal to try and please everyone I meet somehow, but that is just unrealistic. For example just the other night I was asked the big scary question, “so you know travelling now is fun and all…BUT WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE???”…mmm hello I’m 23 years old? Who the hell knows what they want to do with their life at this age. Thats the conclusion I’ve come to now as to what my answer should have been, the answer at the time well, was, just trying to come up with something nice sounding. I sat down that night and thought about all the jobs I have worked since I began my first job as a babysitter when I was 14 years old. Since then I think I have worked 15 different jobs, some bad, some good, and some just boring. Everyone is different, and is on different paths. My mom had her career started at 21, and was also married at 24, and some of my friends are still in school, some are married and some have kids. There is this great video about everyones “time zones” which I’ll put on here, it is so good….We are all different!
Maybe I don’t know exactly what I would like to do job wise with my life, I do know I would love to have a job where I don’t work nights and hopefully not the weekends either. Where I can have vacation time, and not let work control me. A hopeful goal someday I’m sure, but for the moment I am content with just working the odd job for a few weeks. I’m going back to Canada in May for hopefully a couple months, and the goal at the moment is to try and find a job working at a vineyard, whether this be in the fields or in the shop…I am open to anything! I’ve just always wanted to work at a vineyard, since I love wine!
Getting back into focus…this whole year has been a series of unplanned events, from the very start. When I first started applying for jobs in the UK I was offered three, I accepted the first one which would have seen me in the North of Scotland, I was then offered one on the Isle of Arran which I later decided would suit me better, but was also offered another one working in the middle of Scotland. I really wanted to take the third job, which was in Aberfeldy, but my parents and I thought sticking to Arran would be best. Originally I thought I would be there until November, if not longer.Well, after two weeks I quit and took all my things up to the Isle of Mull, the first most unexpected adventure of my time here in Europe. Mull was amazing though; beauty surrounded me for 9 whole weeks, not to mention the good chunk of money as well. The month I went backpacking in September was very well planned by me, but what happened during those four weeks was not. I had an absolute blast. Meeting a guy from Sweden was definitely not part of the plan…or meeting any guy at all for that matter. Doing the au pairing jobs in Edinburgh and now London were both not planned either. I have famously said I would never ever do an au pairing job in my life, and now I’ll have spent six months in total doing two au pairing jobs. I feel like I have learned a lot this past year, and that honestly taking a little leap off the comfort zone area has shown me the unplanned things have been the best things to happen to me yet.
My dad always said to me, “Don’t let the cart get too ahead of the horse.” And he is right! I am getting better at not looking too far ahead, but I do think it is important to at least think about whats up in the near future. I am slowly learning to “smell the roses” at each stop. I think it might be time to sit at a spot for more than just a few weeks though. Sure I get to experience different cultures easier and see a lot, but to make all the effort to make friends and such…I am getting a bit lazy…terrible to admit that isn’t it?
I feel very content with my life at the moment, though they can change within a day I’m sure. I feel happy to have had the experiences I have had, and when things got a little shakey I am a true believer in talking about your feelings. So I do, to my family, friends, even counsellors if I feel the need…there is no shame in it! My journey isn’t always as smooth as the pictures make it out to be, but at the end of the day I’m happy things have happened the way they have. I learn from the good and the bad, and am finally starting to get better at just sitting in the moment and relaxing….ahhhhh. (With a glass of wine of course!)
Thats all for now, thanks for reading!